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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Window of the heart.

There is a window in your heart
through which you can see Him.
Once upon a time that window was clear.
Your view of Him was crisp.
You could see Him as vividly as you could see
a gentle valley or hillside.
The galss was clean,
the pane unbroken.


You knew Him.
You knew how He worked.
You knew what He wanted you to do.
No surprises.
Nothing unexpected.
You knew that He had a will,
and you continually discovered what it was.


Then,
suddenly,
the window cracked.
A pebble broke the window.
A pebble of pain.


Perhaps the stone struck when your parent left home.
Forever.
Maybe the rock hit
when your heart was broken by a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Or maybe your window was standing fine until this year -
the pebble came.


Was it a phone call?
"Come home. Dad had a heart attack."
Was it a letter in your locket?
"Don't try to call me. It's over. I just don't feel the same about you anymmore."
Was it diagnosis from the doctor?
"Your knee is shot. I'm sorry, but you won't be able to play basketball again."


Whatever the pebble's form, the result was the same -
a shattered window.
The pebble shot into the pane and shattered it.
the crash echoed down the halls of your heart.
Cracks shot out from the point of impact,
creating a spider web of fragmented pieces.


And suddenly He was not so easy to see.
The view that had been so crisp had changed.
You turned to see Him,
and His figure was distorted.
It was hard to see Him through the pain.
It was hard to see Him through the fragments of hurt.


You were puzzeled.
He wouldn't allow something like this to happen,
would He?
Tragedy and travesty weren't on the agenda of the One you had seen,
were they?
Had you been fooled?
Had you been blind?


The moment the pebble struck,
the glass became a reference point for you.
From then on,
there was life before pain and life after pain.
Before your pain,
the view was clear;
He seemed so near.
After you pain,
well,
he was harder to see.
He seemed a bit distant....
harder to perceive.
Your pain distorted the view -
not eclipsed it, but distorted it.


Maybe these words don't describe your situation.
there are some people who never have to
redefine or refocus
their view of Him.

Most of us do.

Most of us know what it means to feel dissapointed by Him.

We look for Him,
but can't find Him.
Fragmented glass hinders our vision.
He is enlarged through this piece
and reduced through that one.
Lines jigsaw their way across his face.
Large sections of shattered glass opaque the view.


And now you aren't quite sure what you see.